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EPITHALAMIUM

by lauren hilger

 

 

I left every room for it

I’ll move the room to me

 

I’ll move the rose to face

you wait at the foot of that door

 

take off my hoops when it opens

why was I afraid of the words

 

why to read the message

I slammed my hand over your mouth

 

time refilling

occasion for no speech

 

but the illusion of forever

chills the base of my throat

 

like some lemon bite too sharp

unless you like big numbers

 

daytime shapes up cool white and blue not

regal enough for you

 

the idea of logging off is done

this quiet comes around

 

my fist closed in a silent film

I tried to tell you

 

but the story stays here

all in my mouth my hands

 

wind over the ocean

fire on the sand

 

I’m not going to hurt you

I stamp my signet ring into wax

Lauren Hilger is the author of Lady Be Good (CCM, 2016.) Named a Nadya Aisenberg Fellow in poetry from the MacDowell Colony, she has also received fellowships from the Hambidge Center and the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in BOMB, Harvard Review online, Kenyon Review online, Pleiades, The Threepenny Review, West Branch, and elsewhere. She serves as a poetry editor for No Tokens.

© 2004-2025 All Rights Reserved. American Poetry Journal

The American Poetry Journal (APJ) is back and online only for now! Theresa Senato Edwards has taken over the reins as of April 21, 2025. Unfortunately, Theresa did not get much info on past submissions, except that all submissions were responded to. She queried about the anthology, chapbook, full-length submissions, and any upcoming online issues; but the same response was given to her: that all submissions were responded to. Theresa was not able to obtain access to the old APJ Submittable account either. She requested access but was told that the APJ Submittable account was unavailable. Theresa was not a part of the mess that transpired from 2022 to 2024, approximately. And she is sorry that she doesn't have additional news about much of the past submissions as well as submission fees. She asked for financial statements but was not given any. For now the website has been updated with issue and review archives, and we will go from there. Theresa apologizes that she doesn't have more to share and hopes that all her literary citizenship and fine literary reputation over the years will help APJ move positively forward, despite all the disappointment. Theresa will try her best to regain APJ's transparency, passion, and commitment to poets and poetry.​

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